moving on

Nine years ago I met a man that I never thought would change my life in any way. He was a kind, loving, responsible young man. He showed me more affection than any man before and I was dwelling in the moment. We had our good times and we had our bad times but through it all we had each others back in just about every situation. We were engaged twice and I turned him down twice. There were only two situations I felt alone in. One was I had to defend our names against my neighbors boyfriend and i got a scar to prove it,then I was put on child support no means of paying but hewanted me to stay home. Now I could work if I wanted to and I did. Now ten years later he gets married on mother's day after he tells me he wants to come get our daughter. As a protective mother and I have never seen this woman, talked to this woman or met this woman i dont think it would be proper for me as a parent to allow my child around someone i have never had a conversation with. Now this is not a weekend stay she will actually be going for months and she is only four years of age. Now my concern is some people treat other kids different than their own and knowing that her father will be working most of the time yhat leaves my child in her hands. Granted he is a good father to both his children butafter being with this man for nine long years I know what he is capable of and what he will do. He will leave everything for her to do as if all he is supposed to do is work and take care of the bills. Other than that and his attitude he was wonderful as a family man. He has only known this woman less than a year and I am afraid of what she is capabe of. Now to solve my issues I have offered for him and his wife to come to my childs graduation even though the marriage is queastionable to me. Women can be very devious and men who are still getting over previous loves fall victim and i am scared this may be the case. I care so much for both my baby and baby's father that i dont want neither one to be hurt. Should I leave it alone and allow my child aroundthis mysterious woman or should I stick to how i feel and take it from there regardless of how he feel?

When you try so hard

When you try so hard to be more than what people expect of you nobody knows how hard it is on you. Especially when you are a single mother raising kids without the help of any male figure and things start to go south not for your children but for you. You are standing strong at one point and all of a sudden something knocks you down. You are getting up from it but it takes forever for you to stand strong again. This drives me crazy and being that I am really in this alone I sometimes have a hard time focusing on what I have to do. I am a strong minded, strong willed, independent woman whonis willing to do anything for her family and cant find a foundation to build on. Throughout my life I have learned there are people who want to see you succeed and people who want to see you fail. It is so sad to me that parents today allow their children to go overboard at a young age and then when the shit hits the fan claims to know nothing or tried to stop them! When you make them respect you and other adults, be responsible and take care of their home sometimes they grow to be respectable adults. Some kids just have a mind of their own with a outrageous attitude and you fear hurting them which makes it hard to punish them in any shape or form but something needs to happen! I personally face the smart mouth, moody, lazy teenager who does not believe any punishment is fair. Since when is it ok for a child to speak to an adult in any tone? Why is it wrong for me to spank my child for doing something they shouldnt have based on the severity? Is the world today trying to allow these children, our future, to destry or end civilization? The bible even says spare the rod spoil the child! There are consequences to being a here on earth with all these laws that restrict certain aspects in life. If your child raises a hand at you, supposedly you are supposed to talk it out without any violence, but what of that technique does not work for that specific child? As a parent I do not think abuse is the same as a spanking which some children need! It is completely crazy for you to allow your child to act out or even sit on the floor in public unless its part of the outing. Control your children and raise them to respect others and our future will remain in tact! Think on that before you agree that something a parent does is not done properly. Each child is handled differently!

why do me do what they do

Some of these men today need a reality check! They need to realize that love does not come with a good connection at first. Shit some people actually cant stand each other at first and most of the time its only because they have so much feelings for one another. When they actually put in the work to show a bad, confused, abused, well basically damaged girl she has no idea what she has and does him wrong. Every man is not built ford tough, in touch with their feelings or ready to commit to a serious relationship. As individuals, even us women, have our reserved feelings about people's motives. Sometime not only do they have to put in some hard word the damaged individual does too. Now as you can see I changed it from men to individuals because today women are just as bad as men. Sometimes you gotta be patient and continue to focus on you as the other individual does what it is they do best. I am not saying stick around or wait around for a individual to get it right! If you run into a good catch to let it loose because you still feeling somebody else. Give them a fighting chance at your heart and stop letting the past control your future. We all deserve happiness but sometimes happiness comes at a price and it all about if you want to pay it do so on your own. The only thing a female or male should do in a relationship ,especially if they not serious, is buy when and what he/she wants when they want. The other party should be grateful they have somebody who will do things out of the kindness of their hearts. My message to all of our youth is to cherish the woman who cherishes you and always keep one eye open. Everything can not be solved with violence so think before you act!

what is considered stalking

There is a definition for the word stalking and then there is my definition of stalking! The definition of stalking is unwanted attention from a individual or group of individuals, now my definition just goes a little more into detail. This goes for guys and girls! If you have dated or just see this person and you can't seem to let them live a normal life without showing your face you stalking. If you always seem to have a attitude or seem extra happy when a certain individual is mentioned you borderline stalking. If you stay nowhere near their neighborhood and always seem to find a reason to be in the area, even if it is family you dont really like, you stalking. Since when does a person doing things they dont normally do to see a individual is plain stalking. Why can't some people just accept that either they are wanted or unwanted by an individual? Why is it so hard for people to express their feelings? The way I see it we are all grown and we should all be completely honest with the other party from jump. Think on that and leave your thoughts

The things you go through when you in love

I always knew I was wifey material but guys always gotta be selfish, disrespectful or disloyal. As a single woman I have been through so much with so many guys I have gotten to the point where my tolerance is low for men because of the things written above. Previously I was talking to this guy for years on and off and he always gave me what i wanted bt i had to deal with other females and too much drama. After him it was a guy who was always irritated and stayed being mean for no reason, I could not deal with him at all! He only lasted about 2 weeks. Then there were the liars that came around when beneficial to them and stay lying about unneccessary shit. They only las a week at the most with me lmao. Then you have the ones who cant comprehend nothing thats being said, everything is always misinterpreted. Miscommunication is a problem for me being that I am very intellectual and conversating is something I like to do, which means they only last a few days lls. Ok now my problem is i met a guy who contains every single one of those traits but he is so addictive to me. This man was my everything in my new space and he took that away from me. I finally decided to give him my all and he bounced with too much animosity for no reason. I fell in love with the crazy contraption god made this man to be and I cant seem to shake the feelings. No matter what I do or who I talk to he always resurfaces in my mind. I could be cuddling with somebody and get the urge to text him or just start thinking about him and he act like he wants nothing to do with me. This man is driving me into a pit of feelings that i cant control no matter how hard I try. He obviously still has something going for me because he keeps riding past my house knowing he dont talk to nobody on my street. He always bringing me up to the same people he dont talk to like that knowing they my associates too. In my mind i wanna move on but my heart wont allow me to.

PartVII

Before leaving her grandmothers home Beatrice made it known she wanted the money owed to her for filing her child. Her grandmother angrily told her "I am not giving you shit, I will spend that money on the baby!". Instead of continuing to argue with her grandmother Beatrice politely packed her and her baby things as she looked for a motel for her family to stay in. By the time her grandmother came home from work her house was empty of anything that would remind her of Beatrice. As soon as she got settled in the room she sat down and put the baby to sleep and made one phone call to a close friend who she knew would come to her rescue. Out of all the people she encountered between nine different schools and two different cities she only had a handful that she could trust. This guy was a lifesaver every time and regardless of what he was doing he made time for Beatrice. She called him Monty, she had a thing where your real name was something that should never be used so she gave everybody their own name. She called him Monty because he was a nice guy who had good money and did not mind spending. When the phone call was over she finally asked her parents to keep the baby because she was sleeping and at that time they no longer used drugs. Monty would be there in twenty minutes so she had to clean up quick! She went in the room and found a nice pair of blue jeans, a black top, some clean underclothes and a pair of all black knee high boots. She was ready to go on the town in fifteen minutes and still had time to smoke the blunt she rolled while she was on the phone with Monty. As soon as she lit the blunt she heard a knock at the door and politely said "who is it?", but she could barely hear their response. So she got up and went to the door and repeated herself, this time she heard them and opened the door. As she was opening the door she seen Monty pulling up. She wanted to surprise him with her new look since he had not seen her in a few days so she closed the door and waited for his call. As she waited for his call she continued to talk to a old friend she had not seen since high school named Corey. They use to always pick with each other and plot on others together outside of school. Two minutes later the phone rings instead of answering on the first ring she waited for the third ring and answered. Before she left the house the gave herself one more look over and walked outside and down the steps. Montty did not see Beatrice until she started coming down the steps so at first all he saw was a pair of womens high heeled knee high boots. As Beatrice face slowly appeared and he realized whonit was he mouth dropped wide open in shock because he was unaware of what he should expect. When she got in the car all he could do was smile and gawk at her beauty. She was not sure of his response so she blushed as he took it all in and two minutes later they pulled off. As they rode down Jefferson ave he asked her "what do you want to do?" She replied "can we go to the movies?" Before she knew it he was already in route to Regal Cinemas and knew what they were going to see. She walked in the theatre with so much pride and confidence even the workers noticed her. As he bought the tickets a guy standing with his date for the night was sending Beatrice eye signals and she just turned her head.

The way people think today

In today's world I have noticed that people are not as kind and friendly as they use to be. We all have our own minds yes but do people have to be so devious, trifling or just plain old wrong? In my life I have ran across plenty of nasty individuals who are looking to only get what they want or need from you everytime they come see you. I recently enountered a guy who treated me like a queen and cared for my kids as if they were his bt in the end he did nothing bt talk bad about me, stalk me and curse at me after we stop talking. In my previous relationship i was well taken care of as long as I did what he needed done until I had his child then he did everything because of his child. I have encountered several women who took advantage of a good man making it hard for a good woman to keep him. There are a shortage of good men and women in the world today because of people doing things to hurt them mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually. Why hurt people who break their backs to be a part of your life? Why be a careless person when you can be a person of gratitude, honesty, trust and loyalty?