moving on

Nine years ago I met a man that I never thought would change my life in any way. He was a kind, loving, responsible young man. He showed me more affection than any man before and I was dwelling in the moment. We had our good times and we had our bad times but through it all we had each others back in just about every situation. We were engaged twice and I turned him down twice. There were only two situations I felt alone in. One was I had to defend our names against my neighbors boyfriend and i got a scar to prove it,then I was put on child support no means of paying but hewanted me to stay home. Now I could work if I wanted to and I did. Now ten years later he gets married on mother's day after he tells me he wants to come get our daughter. As a protective mother and I have never seen this woman, talked to this woman or met this woman i dont think it would be proper for me as a parent to allow my child around someone i have never had a conversation with. Now this is not a weekend stay she will actually be going for months and she is only four years of age. Now my concern is some people treat other kids different than their own and knowing that her father will be working most of the time yhat leaves my child in her hands. Granted he is a good father to both his children butafter being with this man for nine long years I know what he is capable of and what he will do. He will leave everything for her to do as if all he is supposed to do is work and take care of the bills. Other than that and his attitude he was wonderful as a family man. He has only known this woman less than a year and I am afraid of what she is capabe of. Now to solve my issues I have offered for him and his wife to come to my childs graduation even though the marriage is queastionable to me. Women can be very devious and men who are still getting over previous loves fall victim and i am scared this may be the case. I care so much for both my baby and baby's father that i dont want neither one to be hurt. Should I leave it alone and allow my child aroundthis mysterious woman or should I stick to how i feel and take it from there regardless of how he feel?

When you try so hard

When you try so hard to be more than what people expect of you nobody knows how hard it is on you. Especially when you are a single mother raising kids without the help of any male figure and things start to go south not for your children but for you. You are standing strong at one point and all of a sudden something knocks you down. You are getting up from it but it takes forever for you to stand strong again. This drives me crazy and being that I am really in this alone I sometimes have a hard time focusing on what I have to do. I am a strong minded, strong willed, independent woman whonis willing to do anything for her family and cant find a foundation to build on. Throughout my life I have learned there are people who want to see you succeed and people who want to see you fail. It is so sad to me that parents today allow their children to go overboard at a young age and then when the shit hits the fan claims to know nothing or tried to stop them! When you make them respect you and other adults, be responsible and take care of their home sometimes they grow to be respectable adults. Some kids just have a mind of their own with a outrageous attitude and you fear hurting them which makes it hard to punish them in any shape or form but something needs to happen! I personally face the smart mouth, moody, lazy teenager who does not believe any punishment is fair. Since when is it ok for a child to speak to an adult in any tone? Why is it wrong for me to spank my child for doing something they shouldnt have based on the severity? Is the world today trying to allow these children, our future, to destry or end civilization? The bible even says spare the rod spoil the child! There are consequences to being a here on earth with all these laws that restrict certain aspects in life. If your child raises a hand at you, supposedly you are supposed to talk it out without any violence, but what of that technique does not work for that specific child? As a parent I do not think abuse is the same as a spanking which some children need! It is completely crazy for you to allow your child to act out or even sit on the floor in public unless its part of the outing. Control your children and raise them to respect others and our future will remain in tact! Think on that before you agree that something a parent does is not done properly. Each child is handled differently!

why do me do what they do

Some of these men today need a reality check! They need to realize that love does not come with a good connection at first. Shit some people actually cant stand each other at first and most of the time its only because they have so much feelings for one another. When they actually put in the work to show a bad, confused, abused, well basically damaged girl she has no idea what she has and does him wrong. Every man is not built ford tough, in touch with their feelings or ready to commit to a serious relationship. As individuals, even us women, have our reserved feelings about people's motives. Sometime not only do they have to put in some hard word the damaged individual does too. Now as you can see I changed it from men to individuals because today women are just as bad as men. Sometimes you gotta be patient and continue to focus on you as the other individual does what it is they do best. I am not saying stick around or wait around for a individual to get it right! If you run into a good catch to let it loose because you still feeling somebody else. Give them a fighting chance at your heart and stop letting the past control your future. We all deserve happiness but sometimes happiness comes at a price and it all about if you want to pay it do so on your own. The only thing a female or male should do in a relationship ,especially if they not serious, is buy when and what he/she wants when they want. The other party should be grateful they have somebody who will do things out of the kindness of their hearts. My message to all of our youth is to cherish the woman who cherishes you and always keep one eye open. Everything can not be solved with violence so think before you act!